Mother and Child

I cannot quite put a finger on it,
nor pin down the feelings in my heart
now I am home from visiting with you…
A deal of history lies there between us
as it has lain, gathered over years
of awkwardness,
uncertainty,
resentment,
guilt,
embarrassment;
over many moments
miscalculated,
misinformed,
misunderstood
that still stand between us…

Now I am older,
with grown children of my own;
You are old
and grasp your cup
with two frail and twisted hands
that once were capable
of wringing out a washcloth nearly dry
or leaving marks on angry cheeks
that faded over days…

Now I do not hold the grudge
that came of fearing you
and your disdain,
your disapproval of everything, it seemed,
I was or wanted.

Now, visiting you in your small rooms
and holding you against me in embrace
that saves you from another fall,
please see that
I hold nothing else against you now;
I hope with all my heart
you know I love you
and that’s all.

2007 by CL Redding