MOTHER AND CHILD

I cannot quite
put a finger on it,
nor pin down
the feelings in my heart
now I am home
from visiting with you…

A deal of history
lies there between us
as it has lain.
gathered over years
of awkwardness,
uncertainty,
resentment,
guilt,
embarrassment
over many moments
miscalculated,
misinformed,
misunderstood
between us…

Now I am older,
you are old
and grasp your cup
with two frail and twisted hands
that once were capable
of wringing out
a washcloth nearly dry
or leaving marks
on angry cheeks
that faded over days…
Now
I do not hold the grudge
that came of
fearing you
and your disdain
your disapproval
of everything, it seemed,
I was
or wanted.

Now,
visiting you
in your small rooms
holding you against me
in embrace
that saves you
from another fall,
I hold nothing else
against you
and I hope you know
I love you
and that’s all.

2007, for my mother