Loss

I thought you’d live forever, though I know it can’t be so–
I’ve always known I’d lose you, though I thought you’d never go…
There’d be time some perfect day to speak the long-unspoken word,
To tell you all I needed to, to be sure that you had heard…
That there’d be time to listen, to show how much I care
To be sure you know I love you, before you aren’t there.

But I have been so busy, and believed you’d always be
within my voice’s reach, and where my eyes could turn and see
that you are waiting, smiling, until my moment’s best
for attending to your moment, all those words and all the rest…
But time grows short–the leaf, it fades, falls drifting through the air
And it will touch the ground and still, before I can be there.

Sorrow, for the incomplete, the tales and songs unfinished…
Guilt, for all the chances passed so both our lives diminished…
Loss, for opportunities that knocked time and time again…
Anger, that you left too soon, and never warned me when…
Shame, because it is my fault, for the things I never gave
because it was so much easier to think you’d never leave.

_{by CL Redding revised Nov 2022}